Satanic Themes Pillows

"Grab a fork and pitch in if you want to. Not that it matters. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't."

"It's just a coincidence that you pedometer was on 666 when you had that massive coronary."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Halo Frisbee.

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

"It's fondue night!"

"Blessed are they who blow out birthday cakes candles, for they shall be de-lighted."

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

Vampire with a violin

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

People forget, on the 8th and 9th days I created the long weekend.

Poetry reading nightly

Priest walks by a religious book shelf and and a Satan book pops out to hit him on the head.

"You're a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch. You'll do well down here."

Almost got away with it, until he tried to bury the body and dug a little too deep.

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

'The Christ Child'

"When you testify, Marty, tell the truth and let the lawyers go to hell."

Spawn of Satan on board.

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

'Really? A Bride of Satan? Golly, Lucille, why did you wait until our fourth date to tell me you were already married?'

'He's bringing glad-to-be-gay tidings.'

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

....And on the seventh day,god painted!

Sacrifices at 4:00PM and 6:00PM

Racing to Hell

'There goes my New Year's resolution to be a better person.'

"Good evening madam. Would you like to donate your soul to a newly registered charity?"

Ikea Manger

Man in Hell, 'Well, I gotta tell ya, layers is NOT the answer.'

"For the last time, stop saying 'Let's just wing it'!"

'Nice 666 pack.'

'I try to do more harm than good.'