Satanic Themes Gifts

"Grab a fork and pitch in if you want to. Not that it matters. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't."

"It's just a coincidence that you pedometer was on 666 when you had that massive coronary."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Halo Frisbee.

"It's fondue night!"

Vampire with a violin

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

Poetry reading nightly

Priest walks by a religious book shelf and and a Satan book pops out to hit him on the head.

"You're a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch. You'll do well down here."

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

Almost got away with it, until he tried to bury the body and dug a little too deep.

'The Christ Child'

'Really? A Bride of Satan? Golly, Lucille, why did you wait until our fourth date to tell me you were already married?'

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

"When you testify, Marty, tell the truth and let the lawyers go to hell."

....And on the seventh day,god painted!

'He's bringing glad-to-be-gay tidings.'

Sacrifices at 4:00PM and 6:00PM

Racing to Hell

Man in Hell, 'Well, I gotta tell ya, layers is NOT the answer.'

"Good evening madam. Would you like to donate your soul to a newly registered charity?"

Ikea Manger

'There goes my New Year's resolution to be a better person.'

"For the last time, stop saying 'Let's just wing it'!"

A goat-herder notices Satan trying to fit in with a herd of goats and sends him off

'Nice 666 pack.'

Angel watching Soul Train

'I try to do more harm than good.'