Satanic Humorist Gifts

A goat-herder notices Satan trying to fit in with a herd of goats and sends him off

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Gee, thanks pal."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet