Satanist Pillows

"Good evening madam. Would you like to donate your soul to a newly registered charity?"

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

"It's fondue night!"

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

Special Place in Hell...

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

Priest walks by a religious book shelf and and a Satan book pops out to hit him on the head.

Almost got away with it, until he tried to bury the body and dug a little too deep.

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

"You're a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch. You'll do well down here."

"What do the know!"

Now playing: 'The passion of big box office profits'.

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

"...and the action figures will have concussions, they'll be on stretchers and wheelchairs..."

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

'Really? A Bride of Satan? Golly, Lucille, why did you wait until our fourth date to tell me you were already married?'

Sacrifices at 4:00PM and 6:00PM

Man in Hell, 'Well, I gotta tell ya, layers is NOT the answer.'

"Are you sure you should be on this list?!"

'There goes my New Year's resolution to be a better person.'

'Bartering for pre-screening ads isn't a bad idea, but what are we going to do with all these pigs?'

'Gloria, tell my nine-o'clock to go to hell.'

'Nice 666 pack.'

'It's a donut, I'm telling you. Go on, take a bite.'

"It's just a coincidence that you pedometer was on 666 when you had that massive coronary."

A goat-herder notices Satan trying to fit in with a herd of goats and sends him off

'I try to do more harm than good.'

"I thought it was a little campy."

Wall Street Devil.