Sartorial Slapstick Gifts

'Talk about inconsiderate! You could have permanently damaged the bike!'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

Beware of Falling Notice.

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

"Never mind your technology, in my day we had to deliver our jokes by hand!"

Phone Mittens

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

'Hi ? I'm from the Government, and I'm here to help you.'

"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'He's doing it for comic relief.'

"Is that a piano?"

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

Bunfight at the O.K. Corral

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

"If Timmy Had a Wiener Dog"

1715 - Newton discovers gravel.

'Still getting the hang of laser surgery'

Alfredo the knife thrower's first air trip.

'Look at this, Mom, he got down on his knees to propose and put his back out!'

"Ha! I love slapstick comedy."

Police borrows a tricycle to catch a bank robber.

"Fiddler off the roof..."

George the small-time crook would soon find out that 'sticking his fingers in an ink-pad' was not such a good idea!

Show me the funny!

"I charge according to the size of the target."