Sartorial Slapstick T-Shirts

'Talk about inconsiderate! You could have permanently damaged the bike!'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Beware of Falling Notice.

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

"Never mind your technology, in my day we had to deliver our jokes by hand!"

Phone Mittens

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

'Hi ? I'm from the Government, and I'm here to help you.'

"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'He's doing it for comic relief.'

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

1715 - Newton discovers gravel.

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

Bunfight at the O.K. Corral

"Is that a piano?"

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

'Still getting the hang of laser surgery'

Alfredo the knife thrower's first air trip.

"Ha! I love slapstick comedy."

"Fiddler off the roof..."

George the small-time crook would soon find out that 'sticking his fingers in an ink-pad' was not such a good idea!

'Look at this, Mom, he got down on his knees to propose and put his back out!'

Police borrows a tricycle to catch a bank robber.

"I charge according to the size of the target."

"You're not stepping on it right."