Sarcastic Outdoorsy Types Pillows

'Look, a pair of mountaineers: Looks like they're really struggling on the easy cliff-face...'

The First Fire Stick

Stormy weather

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"...it was believed that anyone who displeased it would meet with a terrible fate, which of course is complete nonsen..."

"Get any bites?"

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

"Well that answers that question!"

"Sharp shooter, huh? Well, I was attacked by an ax murderer!"

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

'Tap water?! As if.'

'Oh stop complaining, if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!'

Ants watching human invasion.

"Send them in for their Christmas bonuses."

"Have you tried jet skiing? - I've never seen an unhappy jet skier."

'Hey, I know how to stop famine and poverty! Let's have lunch and after that, we go on making money!'

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

"We have met today because you, Cynthia, and you, Kevin, now want to look together for a scapegoat to blame for your stupidity, your laziness, your total failure, and for your antisocial behaviour."

“We need eggs, milk, bread... Oh, and get an extra-large tub of outrage. We’re running low.”

"I've only had three pints and I'm totally wasted. . . I'll never drink vodka again!"

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

"The end of my patience is near!"

The End is Near...You Wish.

"You know I hate you, right?"

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water.

'Wow! A game used collectors card!'

"Thanks for your meaningful application. When can you start?"

"Dad, I'm nearly eighteen. I'm old enough to get divorce if I want"

Gusty Day.

"It's okay mate, I only need the cork from your bottle."

New closures due to the pandemic

"I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death."

The army surplus blanket is great! I never thought you'd be engaged in a government cover-up.

"Can you outrun a bear?" "No, but I think I can outrun you."