Sarcastic Outdoorsy Types Gifts

'Look, a pair of mountaineers: Looks like they're really struggling on the easy cliff-face...'

The First Fire Stick

Stormy weather

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Get any bites?"

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

"Well that answers that question!"

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

'Tap water?! As if.'

'Oh stop complaining, if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!'

Ants watching human invasion.

"Send them in for their Christmas bonuses."

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

"We have met today because you, Cynthia, and you, Kevin, now want to look together for a scapegoat to blame for your stupidity, your laziness, your total failure, and for your antisocial behaviour."

'Hey, I know how to stop famine and poverty! Let's have lunch and after that, we go on making money!'

"I've only had three pints and I'm totally wasted. . . I'll never drink vodka again!"

"The end of my patience is near!"

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

"Have you tried jet skiing? - I've never seen an unhappy jet skier."

“We need eggs, milk, bread... Oh, and get an extra-large tub of outrage. We’re running low.”

The End is Near...You Wish.

"You know I hate you, right?"

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water.

"Thanks for your meaningful application. When can you start?"

"It's okay mate, I only need the cork from your bottle."

New closures due to the pandemic

"Dad, I'm nearly eighteen. I'm old enough to get divorce if I want"

Gusty Day.

"Can you outrun a bear?" "No, but I think I can outrun you."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"