Sarcastic Commentators Pillows

Well done, Jim. If only I could sleep at home like I do through your presentations!'

'We've restructured our banking charges.'

'Well, he always wanted a permanent position.'

'Give me a break, will you? I didn't ask to go home sick, did I?'

"You don't tip them you bribe them!"

The First Fire Stick

The transparent safe box of Panama

Redhead

"Because you've been working so little, you can have the rest of your career here off."

"White Collar Prison"

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

'He lost his whistle,'

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

"No, I don't wanna read your damn blog."

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

They stole your identity, but after seeing your credit score, they gave it back.

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

'Oh he's sporty all right - he can be up and down on his stairlift in under ten minutes'

"You think you have the boss from hell?!"

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

"Don't look at me. I'm just the gay friend."

"Hey, if we're getting laid off, it's every man for himself!"

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

'Hey, I know how to stop famine and poverty! Let's have lunch and after that, we go on making money!'

"I've only had three pints and I'm totally wasted. . . I'll never drink vodka again!"

Men Not Working.

'If looks could sue, eh, Walt?'

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"The end of my patience is near!"