Sarcastic Critic Pillows

'If looks could sue, eh, Walt?'

"What do I recommend? Get your coats and go to the restaurant across the road!"

The First Fire Stick

The transparent safe box of Panama

Redhead

"White Collar Prison"

"Because you've been working so little, you can have the rest of your career here off."

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

'He lost his whistle,'

"Where the hell were you fourteen years ago?"

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

"No, I don't wanna read your damn blog."

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

"Hey, if we're getting laid off, it's every man for himself!"

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

'Hey, I know how to stop famine and poverty! Let's have lunch and after that, we go on making money!'

"The end of my patience is near!"

'Oh he's sporty all right - he can be up and down on his stairlift in under ten minutes'

"You think you have the boss from hell?!"

"It's a 'get worse soon card' from your ex wife."

"I've only had three pints and I'm totally wasted. . . I'll never drink vodka again!"

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

"Don't look at me. I'm just the gay friend."

The End is Near...You Wish.

"OK, now here comes the lava."