Sarcasm And Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Of course this makes your old masters al look now so very contrived.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Let's consider an early dive."

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

The Snarky District

Trappist Monk Discord

Czarcasm

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"