Sarcasm And Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Let's consider an early dive."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

Trappist Monk Discord

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

The Snarky District

Czarcasm

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'Stop staring and make a wish!'