Fan Of Sarcastic Humor Gifts

Leaders must focus on strategic planning and desired results."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Trump Poutine

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'More government surveillance!'

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

How men process questions.

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

How About Serving Us For a Change

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"Your farm's doing well John. What's your secret?"

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'