Satirical Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'What's your money doing on the Virgin Islands?'

"I wish I had a salary that disgusted people."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'It's a thin dividing line,Johnson. Let's just ignore it.'

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

Restaurant - Free lunch!* *plus $29.95 service charge for shipping and handling.

"Don't forget to take a handful of our complimentary antibiotics on your way out."

No 1 in a series of unlikely events: "Social work is such a meaningful worthwhile work that I've decided to give up my lucrative law practise to join you!"

All Government Employees Must Wash Their Hands Of All Responsibility Before Returning To Work.

"Hey, we're sheep. Everything seems like a good idea."

'The only thing that is certain in life is death and taxes!'

"I tell you I've studied the entire site personally and there is no toxic waste!"

'Mess yourself up a little -- the key to this business is authenticity.'

Society for Asking Stupid Questions

Robbing Peter to pay Paul.

"Of course nobody needs one, that's why I called the advertising people in."

"Sure, the flat tax will inflict terrible hardship on the poor, but it's a great incentive for everyone to become a millionaire."

'We don't call it torture anymore - it's occupational therapy!'

'Someday, just for a change, why can't we send American Flu to Asia?'

'I hope you're not a lawyer or a politician. We're trying to diversify down here.'

"I'd run it by legal myself, but they have a restraining order against me."

"We don't pay very much. We don't work very much either."

Make him take about 16 of these a day until we feel better about what we're doing to him!

'So how long have you had this tendency to self-harm?'

"Everything looks fuzzy through these."

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'

"No, equal pay doesn't mean you'll be getting the same as me."

The pharmaceutical industry

"Your mother is receiving top quality care and attention."

'I'm a liberal at heart...but my wallet is quite a conservative.'

"It's alright for you lot, you're only aristos - I'm an accountant."

'Morning after pillock.'

'Narcissism Helpline. How can you be of assistance?'

Post Office vs Library - Which Will Close First?

North Korea tests nuclear weapon.