Santa Debater Gifts

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

'I wasn't as good as I should have been or as bad as I could have been.'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Dialogue

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Now that's a win."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Like Minded

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

And now, for a rebuttal.