Modern Santa Debater Gifts

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

Santa's elevator

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

'Are you nuts? -- Santa's secret identity is MY dad!'

'And now he's a reactionary, and conformist.'

"Okay, I got your stuff ordered. I work remotely now."

For Santa's Drone

Boy Clause

Why Santa might be a republican

Santa was perplexed at receiving a carbon-neutral status.

'Santa doesn't need us any more. He just sits at his computer and sends out music and film downloads.'

"Santa's started franchising out delivery.'

"Hey, you gotta give the old guy credit for at least trying."

'But I'm nice until proven naughty in a court of law, right?'

'How come I never see you in church?'

Holiday Greetings

"There goes another childhood illusion. When I was a kid, he had eight reindeer."

Santa, tapping at mobile phone, turns away child saying: 'All Christmas lists must be 140 characters of fewer.'

"Nice to see a fellow Praying Mantis in here."

"I've gone to drone delivery."

Radio control Santa.

Santa sends it all by FedEx.

'Not that sort of 'mobile' you great fat t***."