Modern Santa Debater Gifts

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

Santa's elevator

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

'Are you nuts? -- Santa's secret identity is MY dad!'

"Okay, I got your stuff ordered. I work remotely now."

'And now he's a reactionary, and conformist.'

"It's all part of the new normal."

For Santa's Drone

'Santa doesn't need us any more. He just sits at his computer and sends out music and film downloads.'

'How come you're not registered anywhere on E-Bay?'

'How things have changed Mr Twinkle.'

"Hey, you gotta give the old guy credit for at least trying."

'But I'm nice until proven naughty in a court of law, right?'

"Santa's started franchising out delivery.'

Santa was perplexed at receiving a carbon-neutral status.

Why Santa might be a republican

Santa Needs a Brand New Way To Lug His Bag

Boy Clause

'How come I never see you in church?'

Holiday Greetings

"Nice to see a fellow Praying Mantis in here."

"There goes another childhood illusion. When I was a kid, he had eight reindeer."

Santa, tapping at mobile phone, turns away child saying: 'All Christmas lists must be 140 characters of fewer.'

"I've gone to drone delivery."

"Here's my Christmas list. . . I included the Ebay URL's."

Radio control Santa.

Santa sends it all by FedEx.

'Not that sort of 'mobile' you great fat t***."