Modern Santa Lovers Gifts

'Looks like Santa was replaced by a Santa App.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

Pole dancers

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

'You're seeing someone else, aren't you?'

Santa's elevator

"Okay, I got your stuff ordered. I work remotely now."

"Just a reminder, Santa. Don't forget to yule log off when you're done."

The final secret-santa gift exchange between the Greeks and the Trojans.

The revised 12 days of Christmas

For Santa's Drone

"It's all part of the new normal."

Santa was perplexed at receiving a carbon-neutral status.

'Santa doesn't need us any more. He just sits at his computer and sends out music and film downloads.'

'How come you're not registered anywhere on E-Bay?'

'How things have changed Mr Twinkle.'

"Hey, you gotta give the old guy credit for at least trying."

"Santa's started franchising out delivery.'

The Kindle was first used used by Santa to keep track of the lists of naughty and nice children, and was originally called the Cringle.

Boy Clause

Santa Needs a Brand New Way To Lug His Bag

"He had a list of women... He was sneaking out to their houses at night, giving them gifts..."

Santa LOL.

Holiday Greetings

Individual snowflakes painting by Santa.

"There goes another childhood illusion. When I was a kid, he had eight reindeer."

Criminal Santa Claus

Santa, tapping at mobile phone, turns away child saying: 'All Christmas lists must be 140 characters of fewer.'

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

"What do I want? You're telling me you haven't seen my public wish list on Amazon?"

Sometimes I think the commercialisation of Christmas has gone a bit too far.