Sandwich Skeptic Gifts

A choice of sandwiches

'You may beg me for our 'A&E' tuna sandwich at £12.99' - 'I hate Britain.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Honest Vending

"Wow-free sky hoagies!"

'Hard to follow...'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Filling the Missile Gap

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

The Deli Llama

'How's getting you a sandwich going to help me get a job?'

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

"No, you didn't hear the soft rustle of a sandwich wrapper!"

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

'A sandwich?'

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

"Throw the rope!! It's a quicksandwich!!"

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

One Hour Sandwich shop

"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

"He left with two other slices of bread, turkey, bacon, lettuce and toothpicks. I think they went clubbing."

'Your French dip, sir.'

Holocene, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Miocene, Oligocene, Eocene, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Onions.