Sandwich Scientist Gifts

Paninis of the Old West

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

'Ever noticed how triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones?'

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Wow-free sky hoagies!"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Aww geez... peanut butter and jellyfish again."

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

'Hard to follow...'

Stratigraphy

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

The Deli Llama

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

"I'm a retired doctor."

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

'How's getting you a sandwich going to help me get a job?'

"This means that dad is climbing Everest with my cheese and pickle sandwich."

"No, you didn't hear the soft rustle of a sandwich wrapper!"

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

'A sandwich?'

Everything Smoothie