Sandwich Artist Gifts

Corned Turtle on a Kaiser

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

'Chicken with much room on toast.'

"Damn it, PB&J again."

"I'm a retired doctor."

For the Love of Peanut Butter

Build Your Own Sandwich/Salad

"Do you have 'Cheese and Pickle...?'"

Sandwiches

'Would I be right in thinking that little Jimmy helped make the sandwiches?'

Things I Learned From My Brother. . .

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Cheese.' - 'Cheese.' - 'Cheese.' - 'Cheese.' - 'Mum. Can I have something different in my sandwiches tomorrow?' - 'Okay.' - 'Cheese and pickle.' -

"Aww geez... peanut butter and jellyfish again."

'I love peanut butter... there's nothing like a home-cooked meal.'

'So how come at home you only make sandwiches?'

Bacon, lettuce and tie sandwich.

"You guys haven't seen my wife by any chance? I left her on a sandwich just like this one only 5 minutes ago..."

Media Sandwich

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"I don't know what kind of sandwich you made, but we're out of cat food."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,

Rudy, the sleeping pills you're taking are causing a serious problem. I'm fine. You're half asleep! You can't keep coming to work like this. I'm totally lucid. You served one customer an all-bread sandwich. So? Two pieces of bread with a third slice in the middle! Was the bread not toasted?

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

Gloria knows where you've been tonight, Lance. Apparently, that sandwich she made you for lunch contained salami, cheese, lettuce, tomato and a GPS tracker. !! !!

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Honest Vending

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Wow-free sky hoagies!"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'Hard to follow...'

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

Stratigraphy