Sandwich Historian Gifts

Stratigraphy

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

Super Heroes.

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

Honest Vending

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Wow-free sky hoagies!"

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

'Hard to follow...'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Aww geez... peanut butter and jellyfish again."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

Filling the Missile Gap

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

Wow, Ernie, another previously undiscovered tomb. And it has some unusual images. Is that a picture of the first sandwich? A thumbs up is next to it. The first "like"! Here's a drawing of a family and a heart has been added. The first emoji! This bird looks exactly like one we saw in the last tomb. The first retweet. Could this be the first social media? Yes! And this is how they scrolled!

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'

Lunch Meet

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

Jelly I.V.

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

The Deli Llama

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."