Sandwich Satirist Gifts

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Honest Vending

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"Two vegans, please."

A Club Sandwitch.

"Aww geez... peanut butter and jellyfish again."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Suburban street.

"I'm a retired doctor."

Breakfast cereal in the Treasury.

"He left with two other slices of bread, turkey, bacon, lettuce and toothpicks. I think they went clubbing."

For the Love of Peanut Butter

'Cheese.' - 'Cheese.' - 'Cheese.' - 'Cheese.' - 'Mum. Can I have something different in my sandwiches tomorrow?' - 'Okay.' - 'Cheese and pickle.' -

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,

"I don't know what kind of sandwich you made, but we're out of cat food."

Your Dinner is in the Tin

"There is some evidence that chocolate can be good for you... But the health benefits tend to fade after the first 20 kilos."

Carnegie Deli

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

"Barkeeper! More chick-peas!"

'I'm putting my husband's card in the bag too... he's a Dentist.'

'A rodent Jelly Cake! Thanks Mum and Dad!'

'Would I be right in thinking that little Jimmy helped make the sandwiches?'

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."