Sandwich Satire Gifts

"He left with two other slices of bread, turkey, bacon, lettuce and toothpicks. I think they went clubbing."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Honest Vending

A Club Sandwitch.

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

Jelly I.V.

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"Wow, I was expecting to also get a pearl, but I'll take a panini."

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Batman and Reuben

'Your French dip, sir.'

One Hour Sandwich shop

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

Holocene, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Miocene, Oligocene, Eocene, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Onions.

Paninis of the Old West

'He asked me if I wanted to put anything on my burger, so I had a tenner each way.'

"I'm trying to stick to a Paleo diet. Do you think cavemen had wasabi sauce on their sushi?"

I haven't seen Francine in a long time. I wonder how long-lasting couples keep the magic alive. Here come John and Anne. They've been together for decades. Let's ask them. Hello you two! How do you keep the magic alive in your relationship? Never go to bed hungry. You mean angry. This explains those late night sandwiches! And now you want to argue about them? Seems that the magic involved selective hearing. What? Oh - I got distracted thinking about sandwiches!

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

"...and those are cheese and cucumber..."

'Well, I'd say this calls for a toast!'

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I'm your better in every way - spicier, zestier, more fun, and Latino."

"Wait—which is evidence and which is lunch?"

"...while 86 million prefer grilled cheese, and 57.4 million of them like mustard on it."

Joe's Foot-long Subs: A Man discovers he has been given a little real Submarine.

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"