Sandwich Satire Gifts

"He left with two other slices of bread, turkey, bacon, lettuce and toothpicks. I think they went clubbing."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Honest Vending

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

A Club Sandwitch.

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

"Wow, I was expecting to also get a pearl, but I'll take a panini."

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

Jelly I.V.

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Batman and Reuben

One Hour Sandwich shop

'Your French dip, sir.'

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

Holocene, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Miocene, Oligocene, Eocene, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Onions.

Paninis of the Old West

'He asked me if I wanted to put anything on my burger, so I had a tenner each way.'

"I'm trying to stick to a Paleo diet. Do you think cavemen had wasabi sauce on their sushi?"

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

"...and those are cheese and cucumber..."

'Well, I'd say this calls for a toast!'

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I'm your better in every way - spicier, zestier, more fun, and Latino."

"...while 86 million prefer grilled cheese, and 57.4 million of them like mustard on it."

"Wait—which is evidence and which is lunch?"

Joe's Foot-long Subs: A Man discovers he has been given a little real Submarine.

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

'What was the best thing before sliced bread?'

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."