Sandwich Skeptics Gifts

A waiter strictly adhering to his religion

There are only two types of people in the world. Those who are built for salad and those who are not.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Honest Vending

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

"He left with two other slices of bread, turkey, bacon, lettuce and toothpicks. I think they went clubbing."

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

F&E Beachside Sandwich Shop. It's the final week for our bite-size summer special. We start with miniature frankfurters on a baguette. It's grilled and then cut into small pieces. And we add lots of dollops of mustard! That's your bite-size summer special? Yeah, they're itsy-bitsy, teenie weenie, yellow polka dot paninis!

"It's got lettuce and pickle...why can't we call it a salad."

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

"Ah, peanut butter and jelly! Looks like the pandemic stock pile of olive loaf has finally run out."

'Do you want flies with that?'

"I just had a terrifying glimpse into our snack."

Paninis of the Old West

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'Not another Doctor Who spin off!?'

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

"You're not being punished, Kenny...Salad is what we're having for dinner."

'Ever noticed how triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones?'

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

A choice of sandwiches

"I made a new year's resolution to eat spinach. If I can't stand it, I'll give it up for Lent."