Sandwich Skeptic Pillows

A choice of sandwiches

'You may beg me for our 'A&E' tuna sandwich at £12.99' - 'I hate Britain.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Honest Vending

"Wow-free sky hoagies!"

'Hard to follow...'

Filling the Missile Gap

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

The Deli Llama

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

"No, you didn't hear the soft rustle of a sandwich wrapper!"

'How's getting you a sandwich going to help me get a job?'

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

'A sandwich?'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Throw the rope!! It's a quicksandwich!!"

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

One Hour Sandwich shop

"He left with two other slices of bread, turkey, bacon, lettuce and toothpicks. I think they went clubbing."

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."