Sandpit Expert Gifts

Extra Long-jump

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Pull the udder one

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

"Ain't no denying it son. It's a genuine fact that the surfers rule."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

Home Heating Oil

'Well, how do I know you're not sitting on a deck chair?'

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

'You're away, Doc!'

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

'We're not shouting, children, we just want to know where you buried Granddad.'

"Mom says you are going to play in the sand."

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Fed up in Flint," you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. I bought a dirt-cheap house in Flint, hoping to rent it out. I had it renovated, and then the day before our open-house, someone broke in and stole all our plumbing. So what?! In my day, nobody had plumbing! We did our business in a ditch down by the river and we were glad about it! List it as "vintage Americana" and quit yer complainin'! But they took the roof, too. In my day, a roof

'You are here' sign in a desert pointing to an hourglass.

A Vet? I had you picked in advertising.

Quick Sand and Slow Sand

"You've got to help me, Tom... my garden is out of control!"

"An earthquake cracked the building in half. I'd have it fixed, but it's keeping the staff from constantly going to the break room."

God creates Sahara Desert with sand mill

"The black flies go away when the mosquitoes show up."

'Well, maybe it's in your genes to be attracted to sand...'

'I told you to turn left - this is a bunker on the golf course!'

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

'You buried dad in the sand? That's nice, dear.'

"I'm on videotape since Day One. How about you?"

'This is the hole I was telling you about!'

'Charlie, you've been dredging your sand from the golf courses again.'

'It's always a little dicey using tectonic plates.'

Dept.of energy.

'The sun is up. What do you feel like doing today?'