Sanctified Sitter Gifts

"That's the preacher's dog."

Church for sports worshipers.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

"Show off."

James decided to stay in that night.

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

THe UDDER Side

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

Although in hindsight, maybe she said feed the cat and water the plants.

"How long have we been sitting on balls, Jon?"

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Won't be a minute Boss, just nippin' to the karzie."

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

'Late night with Norm Klosterman'

Our occupations? I am a student of The Contemporary Scene and my friend, here is an observer of The Passing Parade.

Ice Fishing

'I love high-definition TV!'

Footballer's Wages

Action Film Shushing

'Seem the remote?'

How To Sit When You Are A Kid

"Hey! Who's this little guy?"

"Hello there, Mulligan's pillows for better posture, let me leave you a brochure."

Sorry, this game is not available in your area

Whoa. I just had a near-life experience.

'Sorry to disturb you, sir, but coach is wondering if it is OK to put you in the game.'

'So what if Tex is sitting on your log? Pick out a new one!'

First Bar of Spring

"He's co-dependant, I usually board him, but the conference is only three days. Just make sure to let him out from nine to five to do his business. Oh – and treats are in the liquor cabinet."

"So, desk: yay or nay?"