Spiritual Sitters Gifts

Church for sports worshipers.

Night-time halo

"That's the preacher's dog."

"Show off."

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"I'm afraid the diagnosis isn't good."

"How long have we been sitting on balls, Jon?"

Transcendental Litigation

"Won't be a minute Boss, just nippin' to the karzie."

Ice Fishing

"Sure, I had a retirement plan. Stop going to work"

'You are in a deep, deep sleep, when you awaken you will feel sweaty and exhausted...'

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

Action Film Shushing

Footballer's Wages

"It has a nice, divine quality without being overly liturgical."

'I love high-definition TV!'

How To Sit When You Are A Kid

"Hello there, Mulligan's pillows for better posture, let me leave you a brochure."

'Sorry to disturb you, sir, but coach is wondering if it is OK to put you in the game.'

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

Sorry, this game is not available in your area

'There! The sun is done.....I think I'll call it a day.'

'I told you these were great seats, but there is a downside. If you need to go to the restroom...'

'And in conclusion, I'd like to say - it's been a pleasure talking to you.'

'It's sad. They bought season tickets with one of those risky sub-prime loans. Now they've got to sell fast or lose their seats.'

"Ugh, I'm too hungover for salvation-come back later."

"You have been found guilty of smug self-righteous pseudo-spirituality. I sentenced you to a period of six months with your wind chimes strapped to your head."

A brand new day finds Fred, as usual, happily sitting on the sidelines of his own life.

"Only St. Bernards are allowed in."

Tell me what you know about destiny...

I see you found somewhere cool, dry and safe to keep your books! Yes, but it's too dark to read in here!