Sanctification Scholars Gifts

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"That's the preacher's dog."

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

"God works in mysterious ways."

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

Moses comes down the mountain with the first silicon chip.

'Oh, another thing, there'll be no more of this standing upright business, ok?'

"For the last time Pharaoh, it's a plague, not global warming."

"A reading from the first letter of Paul to the Corinthians..."

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

Russia had barely got started in Ukraine and "Gas War" against EU

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

"Then the angel Gabriel said to Joseph in a dream.. 'Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son, and they shall call Him Emmanuel." "I thought His name was Jesus!?".

"No, we can't have a lawyer look at them first!"

"...And when the Lord finished, she rested."

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."

Paul before Felix.

"Doesn't pharisee start with a 'ph'?"