Salon Guest Gifts

"So what's your success rate?"

The adoration of the gels.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

What price beauty?

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

Judge getting hair done.

GURLERS

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

"Let's change things up a bit. Give me the crinkle cut."

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Beauty Bee

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

"I'm just going to te hairdressers. They've got some new gossip in."

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

God's Manicure.

"This time lick my entire body."

Woman Gets Taken Away By Hairdryer.

"He spoils them."

Your hats off! Salon now open