Beauty Salon Visitor Gifts

'I won't be able to meet you today. My car's in the shop.'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

What price beauty?

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

GURLERS

"Rare, medium or well done?"

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

"So what's your success rate?"

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

Galoots in cahoots

"I'm just going to te hairdressers. They've got some new gossip in."

"I said I wanted to go to Stacey's Nail Bar."

God's Manicure.

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"Can you loosen it a bit Andre, I can't close my eyes"

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

The usual? My daughter's all over me about dyeing my hair. I want to go totally natural! Fine. Which would you like? Natural ash, honest honey or real platinum blonde? Which does Mother Nature use?

Queen with a crown-shaped hairdryer.

'Is this for a beauty treatment or a major overhaul?'

50 Shades of Brown: Tanning Salon

Nail Gun Manicure

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

Medusa gets a trim.

"Shall I give your eyebrows a little touch up, Miss?"

"Life's a bleach, and then you dye..."