Salon Visitor Gifts

"Can you loosen it a bit Andre, I can't close my eyes"

"My husband will have his little joke - like not shaving for a week!"

'Just take a little off the top.'

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

The adoration of the gels.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

What price beauty?

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Judge getting hair done.

GURLERS

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

"Let's change things up a bit. Give me the crinkle cut."

"So what's your success rate?"

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

Beauty Bee

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

Woman Gets Taken Away By Hairdryer.

Jo's Beauty Salon. On vacation. Closed for Summer. That's when things got ugly.

"This time lick my entire body."

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

"I'm just going to te hairdressers. They've got some new gossip in."

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

"He spoils them."