Salon Visitor Gifts

"Can you loosen it a bit Andre, I can't close my eyes"

"My husband will have his little joke - like not shaving for a week!"

'Just take a little off the top.'

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

The adoration of the gels.

Pampered and poodled.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

What price beauty?

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

GURLERS

Judge getting hair done.

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

"Let's change things up a bit. Give me the crinkle cut."

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

"So what's your success rate?"

Beauty Bee

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

God's Manicure.

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

"This time lick my entire body."

Your hats off! Salon now open

Galoots in cahoots

Woman Gets Taken Away By Hairdryer.

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

"I'm just going to te hairdressers. They've got some new gossip in."