Sales Strategy Buff Gifts

'Dickson, how many times do I have to tell you, don't start out with the price!'

'When I said that Sales is all about the Art of Persuasion I didn't expect you to start shouting at customers, ‘Buy it or my family will be out on the street!''

'He absolutely demanded a deal. But I was able to satisfy him by doubling the price and then cutting it in half.'

'I'm afraid your Unique Selling Point isn't pointy enough.'

Goals, yes, but don't forget bats, balls and sneakers.

"No physical is required."

"And this is where we began labelling our products 'plant-based'."

'Those Japanese have gone too far this time!'

Brick Salesman

"We balance our low pressure sales with a vigorous add-on department."

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Gerald Ratner's return

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

Entertainment systems

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

Sinking sales