Sales Strategy Thinker Gifts

"To be honest, sales have been quite disappointing."

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Brick Salesman

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Gerald Ratner's return

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

Entertainment systems

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

Sinking sales

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"