Sales Strategy Geek Gifts

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

Brick Salesman

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Gerald Ratner's return

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

Entertainment systems

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

Sinking sales

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"Give a man a fish, you cut your throat. Teach a man to fish, you're a damn fool."