Sales Strategy Aficionado Gifts

"Several of our clients have complained about your aggressive sales techniques Hazelwood."

Wanted - Aggressive Salesman

Larry's used art

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Brick Salesman

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"We're targeting a specific demographic: the utterly clueless."

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

'Our profit dropped because half of our salesmen are in 'How to increase the profit' - training, sir.'

'I lost my shoe, but I got my foot in the door.'

"As you can see, it's pretty simple - just find the customer and make him buy."

Sales Exit.

"Trust me—sex sells."

'You are lucky, I've already refused to see five salesmen this morning.'

"Unfortunately, we lost the notes on this portion of our sales strategy."

"Let's make stuff and sell it to people."

'He absolutely demanded a deal. But I was able to satisfy him by doubling the price and then cutting it in half.'

"The Sales Department suggests we teach Customer Service personnel how to assist customers without telling them where to go."

"For Christmas, Santa is bringing sales in at plan."

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

Pyramid Scheme: Starter Kit - Includes Triangle Shaped Post-It Notes and Order forms for more kits.

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"My hunch is heads will roll."

"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."

"All our phone sales staff are free range."

'It worked. We expressed remorse, asked for forgiveness and sales are up sixty percent.'

"Yeah, but what's the hook?"

'I have good idea of how to improve our sales team.' - 'Great, when are you leaving?'

"It means a chieftain tank of petrol."