Sales Strategy Nerd Gifts

Salesman caught by irate customer.

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Brick Salesman

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Gerald Ratner's return

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

Entertainment systems

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

Sinking sales

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"Give a man a fish, you cut your throat. Teach a man to fish, you're a damn fool."

'I know it's the truth, but on this promo for our site, do you think we should use the promo code 'desperation?''