Marketing Strategy Nerd Gifts

"If you can safeguard this punch card for half a decade, you get a free coffee."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Larry's used art

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

The Invisible Hand of the Market

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

"...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?"

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"I'm not sure cuteness counts as a core competency? but hey if it gets hits, you're on."

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

'Now watch our sales increase.'

'Good news! I think we can make your portfolio quite bearable.'

'Profit in the garbage.'

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

"I believe in consistent branding."

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

London Olympics.

"The markets seem to be a little jittery this morning."

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

"Gosh, this reminds me of one of my favorite John Lennon lyrics: "Life is what happens to you while you're making other quarterly sales plans."