Sales Strategy Guru Gifts

'I'm not superstitious either, but those were the three days Harris wore his lucky socks.'

Used car salesman to man: 'And this one was driven by a little old lady ...er ...uh ... with 36 grandchildren.'

Richard was ahighly skilled salesman with an impressive track record of success.

Door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman sees sign on door of house stating: Beware of Wife.

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."

Multimedia-Conglomerate-Tasking

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Brick Salesman

Gerald Ratner's return

Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

Quiet Please: Merger In Progress

'Don't worry, the dog's a sales manager!'

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."