Salary Survivor Gifts

"Would you like your paycheck sent directly to your mortgage holder, your oil company or your health insurance provider?"

'Think positively, Cavendish -- being grossly underpaid is excellent job security!'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

Desert Island Meals.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Desert Island BBQ

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

In and Out Tray

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

The Buck Never Stops.

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

Between Offices

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

'Arf! Arf!'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"Yes, I'm alone."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

'FIre me and you're in big trouble. I'm on the endangered species list!'