Job Survivalist Gifts

'Congratulations. I hear you past your first month's probation.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

'Thank-you God.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

Late/Too Late.

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'Arf! Arf!'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Yes, I'm alone."

Cafe Burns.

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

With the office space available, we have no choice but to believe in teamwork!

No employee is indispensable, but Doreen came pretty close.

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Prepper Dog

'Next time you want to cheat and use someone else's resume, I suggest you do more than scratch out his name and put yours above it.'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

Tsunami Evac Route

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."