Job Interview Survivalist Gifts

'Next time you want to cheat and use someone else's resume, I suggest you do more than scratch out his name and put yours above it.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

Late/Too Late.

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

'Arf! Arf!'

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

With the office space available, we have no choice but to believe in teamwork!

No employee is indispensable, but Doreen came pretty close.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

"According to your resume, you've done nothing of any real significance since inventing the wheel."

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"You may have heard some very slanderous rumours about this company."

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

'My strength lies in my ability to deny my weaknesses.'

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

"You're overqualified. Could you dumb it down a little?"

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"