Job Survivalists Gifts

'Tell one more person where to go and you're fired.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

Late/Too Late.

'Arf! Arf!'

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

Cafe Burns.

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

With the office space available, we have no choice but to believe in teamwork!

No employee is indispensable, but Doreen came pretty close.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

'Next time you want to cheat and use someone else's resume, I suggest you do more than scratch out his name and put yours above it.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Hell: The Airport"

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

Island and man

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.