Job Survivalists Gifts

'Tell one more person where to go and you're fired.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

Late/Too Late.

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'Arf! Arf!'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"Yes, I'm alone."

Cafe Burns.

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

With the office space available, we have no choice but to believe in teamwork!

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

'Next time you want to cheat and use someone else's resume, I suggest you do more than scratch out his name and put yours above it.'

"Hell: The Airport"

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

Island and man

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'