Salary Standout Gifts

'I tripled my salary to give you all a good benchmark.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"My making two million a year, …. It doesn't make me seem 'Mannish', does it?"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

Brownie Points

I downloaded some SAT practice tests. I'll time you. Ok. Ready. "If Ann spends every day obsessing over stupid tests,

"It took a lot of hard work to get here, but it was all worth it in the end."

'I want to discuss my salary!'

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

Will work for 6-figure salary, excellent health care plan, and generous retirement package.

"I'd like a 150% rise."

'Needless to say, discus-thrower Bill Nordlander went to college on a full athletic scholarship.'

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

Spring, 1998: The world of sports is paralyzed by an equipment managers' strike.

The family tradition lives on: I won the Long Jump and the Triple Jump events...

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

Need money for lessons

'I'm the most popular employee in the company...I work in payroll services.'

Negative bar is taped onto bar graph in business meeting.

'Lose weight and they should drop out of orbit!'

"If only he made goals all of the time instead of just at the beginning of the year."

'What do you mean you want a pay rise??? You only work once a year!!!'

'Getting old isn't so bad when you consider the only other alternative. . .'

Dog gets financial advice.

'I think our fans are excited for us. It just doesn't seem like it because of doing 'The Wave' they do 'The Still Water'.'

Tai Chi

'Amazing! 140 decibels as he hits the surface! That puts him easily into first!'

"We demand an extra 12%."

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"She's so smart...on the highway of life, she's in the E-Z Pass lane."