Salary Spotlight Seeker Gifts

"Boy, boys. You're getting loud and no one gives a damn how big your salaries used to be."

"We demand an extra 12%."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

How are you at decision making?

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

"I don't like your application."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

In and Out Sourced.

Between Offices