Salary Spotlight Seeker Gifts

"Boy, boys. You're getting loud and no one gives a damn how big your salaries used to be."

"We demand an extra 12%."

Businesswoman Empowerment

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

How are you at decision making?

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Do you have any other skills?

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

In and Out Sourced.

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

Between Offices

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"I don't like your application."

Opening the door to new customers

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'