Salary Seeker Gifts

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

'Of course I know the difference between right and wrong! Wrong pays better!'

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

I'm not here to help you, I'm here to get paid.

'I had a terrible day. . . but the money was good.'

'A raise? Has all the media doom and gloom about the economy been wasted on you?'

'I could be happy with less.. but I'd rather be ecstatic with more.'

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"Regarding salary and benefits, pick one or the other."

"We start off at £120 a week, and after six months it goes up to £150."

"I already GAVE you a raise, three weeks from now!"

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

'He is expecting you about your raise request. He will see you in a few minutes...'

Before we discuss your request for a raise, here are the latest unemployment statistics.

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

'A healthy ego demands a healthy salary.'

"My salary is struggling to keep pace with the empty bottomless pit of my greed."

'The only thing keeping me from being successful is not having a salary.'

'You can earn more money, but you'll need to take a second job.'

"The good news is that I talked the boss into giving me a ten dollar raise...the bad news is it's ten dollars a year!"

'I'm prepared to offer you a raise... if you work hard!' 'I knew there'd be a catch!'

"I see it's payday again Perkins!"

'HR fired me because of an 'unstable job demand'. When I demanded a decent wage, they said I was unstable.'

'I need a new challenge... I'd like to try spending a larger paycheck.'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'