Salary Seekers Gifts

"The new position not only comes with a bump in salary, but allows me to extend my reach into areas where I'm not qualified."

Dreaming of Dollars.

"I'm looking for a job at an anti-capitalist non-profit organization but I want at least 3000 bucks a month!"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

How are you at decision making?

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"I don't like your application."

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

Between Offices

In and Out Sourced.

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.