Bonus Seekers Gifts

Banks HAVE to be prepared to pay generous incentives to top executives or else WHO would be willing to take on the job?

'I, too, used to fret away the days, pondering the meaning of life...then I got my first bonus.'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

"Who's ready to see what's going to happen in the fourth quarter?"

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

"Beyond the fine starting salary, the job of a poet laureate at this corporation also carries with it an excellent medical and dental plan."

Business Outlook

'I took my money out of the bank and put it into municipal bonds...'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"I already GAVE you a raise, three weeks from now!"

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

"And this all happened in the last week..."

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"It's been a great year - let's hope we can keep the shareholders from finding out."