Bonus Lovers Gifts

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

'Ready for your bonus, Bob?'

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

'I'll have a big bonus please.'

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

Charity Shop Income on Rise

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

'I think the global banking sector, drunk on years of excessive bonuses, may need a little more than your 'very angry' T-shirt to make them toe the line.'

'Tell me more about the obscene bonus package.'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

'$800,000 per year? Is that with or without an incentive bonus?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'