Bonus Believer Gifts

"Personally I don't think our salaries are too high - I see them as legitimate compensation for the emotional trauma we suffer due to the public's disdain for our high salaries."

'I like to start by discussing potential million-pound bonuses...that always seems to get their full and undivided attention.'

'It's simple, really. This line stays high and sets a good example for the other line.'

Banker Blowback

"It was a mixed dayon wall street. Stocks were down, but bonuses were up."

"If governments didn't think banks were worth saving we would not be worth our bonuses..."

'He's got to fight, he has to want to get well. Tell him his bonus has been reinstated.'

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

'It's no good standing on your bonus.'

'We can't let the total lack of profits impact bonuses.'

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

'Oh dear, there seems to have been a misunderstanding - I was hoping you could lend the bank some money so it could pay my bonus this year!'

"What do you think it is?... It's your, fat cat bonus."

"After talking to him it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

Luke Skywalker- Matrimonial Law

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

"Take. Your. Time!"

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

'We've ended up paying our 'golden hellos', golden 'return from holidays' and Prickman wanted a golden 'thank you' after coming back from a toilet break!'

You wanted to see me again, boss? Yes. I realized you never gave me my Christmas bonus. What're you talking about? You're the boss. You give me a bonus, I don't give you a bonus. Exactly. The key word in employer-employee relationship is relationship. One-sided relationships never work, Rudy. I've calculated the amount you would have paid me if you hadn't been taking me for granted for 16 years. Very bad man.

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

Find the failed CEO who got a 200 million dollar bonus while being fired.

What's a CEO's motivation?